Old Bulletins

Old bulletin board
Nov. 23rd, 2018
Season Finale
Hallucinogenetics - Pheasant Pluckers (MBBL Season 18, Round 7)

The Hallucinogenetics managed to get a win in the final game of season 18 through a combination of a few BS plays on our part and bad luck on our opponentís.

The team is looking forward to the summer break, sitting in a relaxing opium den but will be back for season 19. Whether its in gold or silver division is still to be decided.
- Astrosimian
Nov. 23rd, 2018
About Time for Hum
After an entire season Hum Durgeon finally managed to inflict his first casualty.

Hopefully the troll just slow to develop and not just slow...
- Astrosimian
Nov. 16th, 2018
Bashed Senseless
Ratae Sabretooths - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 18, Round 6)

Despite stellar play by goblin Tripps Grubworm - he scored a TD, made a pass to almost tie the game and earned the MVP - the Hallucinogenetics lost 2-1 in the penultimate match of season 18.

The team suffered at the hands (and heads and feet) of the Ratae Sabretooths ; the orcs smashed through our armour, filling the injury tent and stretching the resources of our medical corp to the limit: 'Skinner' Slice-Slice is out for a game, saved from death; 4 goblins were badly hurt; almost every Skaven bar one was knocked out.

Hopefully our final game against the less-than-bashy Pheasant Pluckers can give us time to recover before next season.
- Astrosimian
Oct. 28th, 2018
Feet of Fury
Rising Zelophehads - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 18, Round 5)

The Hallucinogenetics once again faced - and won against - the necromantic team Rising Zelophehads in a brutal foul-filled match.

The undead spent most of the game fouling our troll Hum Durgeon. Most were ineffective although one got through in the first half but the lumbering bulk's natural regenerative abilities saw him back in action.

Our boys managed to foul key necro players 9 times (Ehllisdi fouled an impressive 4, earning him the game MVP) sending most of them to recover in the medical tent.

Kudos to Syntazz Genesplice for injuring two players and getting the game winning TD!

In related news, the team had to employ the services of famous fashion designer Hugo von BŲŖ to create new uniforms that can accommodate all the extra heads our players seem to be sprouting. Some in the press is calling it an Expensive Mistake, we call it a necessity.
- Astrosimian
Oct. 9th, 2018
Charity Drive Started
Carnegie Bagels - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 18, Round 4)

Coach Simian takes full responsibility for this loss due to poor coaching.

The Hallucinogenetics fan club has started a charity fund drive to purchase ample amounts of Adderal and Caffeine in hopes of improving the coachís in-game concentration.
- Astrosimian
Sep. 6th, 2018
A Game of Two Halves
Hallucinogenetics - Dawnstar Draugr (MBBL Season 18, Round 3)

The schizophrenic nature of the team reared itís ugly head today.

During the first half, the players performance was admirable: the defense was solid, holding back their opponents and almost preventing the undeadís first TD; Hum Durgeon took on both mummies but kept getting back up after every hit; players refused to go down or their armour held when they did.

Second half: we were simply outperformed, outmanoeuvred and outclassed, letting the Dawnstar score THREE defensive touchdowns while the team simply imploded.
- Astrosimian
Aug. 24th, 2018
Two Teams Walk Into a Bar...
Imperious Snotballz - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 18, Round 2)

...and forgot to come out in time to play the match.
- Astrosimian
July 24th, 2018
Party Rats are in the House Tonight!
Ratskin Renegades - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 18, Round 1)

The season 18 opener was a special event with a prematch party sponsored by James Squeel brewery and Buryem AG pharmaceuticals.

In a show of racial solidarity, the Ratskin Renegades were invited to the festivities. Unfortunately, their constitutional fortitude seemed a bit... lacking and it showed in their game play. (Ratskin star runner, Scratch, suddenly left the match at quarter time and spent the rest of the match with his head buried in a bucket. It seems the guy canít handle his Purple Drank.)

Early casualties inflicted gave us the numbers advantage including Tzaraath Lepraeís solid hit on The Barron, which took the marking specialist out for the match and Malorrak Cytosine inflicted a potentially career ending hit on rookie Renegade blitzer Veskit.

The Hallucinogeneticsí goblins were in high spirits, fouling with wild abandon and stunning various Ratskin players an impressive eight times!

Next match is a chance for revenge against the Imperious Snotballz.
- Astrosimian
July 8th, 2018
A Perfect Season (Of Fail)
Hallucinogenetics - Hexoatl Missionaries (MBBL Season 17, Round 7)

The last match of the season against the Hexoatl Missionaries produced yet another loss for the Hallucinogenetics.

Truly outclassed, we found it hard to match the strength and skill of the saurii and nigh impossible to get grips with the slippery skinks, who were able to scoop up loose balls and score with impunity.

The one good result of the game was that we were able to secure corporate sponsorship for this match, bringing in much need cash. As a result, the team was able to hire a new troll for LOS duties. Please welcome Hum Durgeon to the squad.

To round out our abysmal 0-0-7 record we also managed to secure both the Most Fragile & Leaky Cauldron ďtrophiesĒ.

Hopefully a season in Silver Division will allow us to develop the team a bit more (not to mention keeping them alive).
- Astrosimian
May 21st, 2018
Penultimate Match
Lonely Mountain Marauders - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 17, Round 6)

Another loss that almost was a draw.

We were unfortunately forced to play elfball against the dwarves as their skill forced us our offense to quickly pass the ball instead of a more methodical screening advance downfield. As well, our defense had to constantly pressure the dwarf cage. Never a fun prospect.

Our thanks go to the Smashrip father and son duo for holding the LOS against the dwarves and cheers to new thrower Malorrak Cytosine for an excellent debut match.

Fortunately casualties were light, just two goblins; one out for the rest of the season and one - Stomponato - killed. (As per the goblinís last will his retirement fund is to be donated to the Viking Home for Injured and Maimed Players)

But unfortunately stadium officials seemed a bit tight doling our match winnings, so our chance of hiring a new troll before next season starts is very slim indeed.

Next up, possible chance to be a Gold Coin spoiler?
- Astrosimian
May 4th, 2018
Recovery Game
Hallucinogenetics - Banded Lizards (MBBL Season 17, Round 5)

Despite losing management is happy with the outcome of the match.

No players died, no long term injuries. Two players - Kyrote Plassmid and Burnycutcut - improved their skill sets and we made enough cash to start filling gaps in our roster.

Things are looking ok. Crap. Dwarves up next.
- Astrosimian
Apr. 20th, 2018
Imperious Snotballz - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 17, Round 4)


4th straight loss.
2nd dead troll.
1st important player killed.
Not enough cash in bank to replace even one of them.

Thank god for whisky.
- Astrosimian
Mar. 15th, 2018
Another Loss
Raiders of Zharr - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 17, Round 3)

The team racked up another unfortunate loss today.

Despite the result sheet, the match was closer than closer than it appeared as, despite a hard fight by coach Harperís mob and mounting casualties, we kept the press the were many times that we came very close to achieving a draw.

Many thanks to Skryre engineer Krot Shockwhisker for helping patch up our players enough to keep going.

Kudos to Kyrote Plassmid for his first ever injury inflicted.

Next up, we face the Imperious Snotballz. With a full team.
- Astrosimian
Mar. 5th, 2018
Ugh. Dwarves.
Borham Silversmiths - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 17, Round 2)

We always knew this would be a tough match and when the dust settled, the bloody pile of Hallucinogenetics players was testament that we were correct.

As a result, the team is starting to resemble a mob of goblins as more and more skaven are taking long term casualties.

We would like to welcome Kyrote Plassmid, who replaces Skeer Ampisilin, to the team.
- Astrosimian
Mar. 5th, 2018
The Season of Fail Begins
Hallucinogenetics - Sons of Brutus (MBBL Season 17, Round 1)

What can be said other than a the match was a completely lacklustre performance?

Our players found it hard to lay a hand on the more skilled humans, let alone get the ball free.
- Astrosimian
Jan. 25th, 2018
Season 17 Preview
The team has been promoted to first division for season 17.

The division is full of reptiles, goblins and midgets ready to all looking to win via attrition rather than skill.

The bastards have been looking at our playbooks so a call is being put out for extra medical staff this year as it seems it may be needed.
- Astrosimian
Nov. 25th, 2017
Stupid Troll and Stupid Skulls.
Hallucinogenetics - Ostland Bulls (MBBL Season 16, Round 7)

The Hallucinogenetics got their fourth win of the season thanks to solid defensive play. (which we were thankful for as, sadly, our offense was a bit... lacking)

The Ostland Bullsí blocking was almost as sad (several times they were caught unawares, seeing skulls) as the attention span of Brokentooth the troll. His teammates state that he spent 50% of the match muttering to himself that he was too good for LOS duties, that he was now a star ball handler after his performance last match.

The teamís divisional future now rests in hands higher and wiser than ours.
- Astrosimian
Nov. 15th, 2017
The Quick and the Dead
Hallucinogenetics - Rising Zelophehads (MBBL Season 16, Round 6)

With speed, solid play and a bit of razzle-dazzle, the Hallucinogenetics manage their third win of the season.

Kudos go to players Brokentooth and Skeer Ampisilin in securing the win while Nuffle did the majority of the heavy lifting.

Special praise from the fan club goes to goblin Ehllisdi for stomping Halazar Cruor into paste with a few (dozen) well placed kicks.
- Astrosimian
Oct. 17th, 2017
A Series of Fortunate Events
Hallucinogenetics - Skye Rawr! (MBBL Season 16, Round 5)

Prayers at the altar of Nuffle seemed to have paid off, giving the team a surprise win against the powerful orcs of Skye Rawr.

Stadium inducements allowed the Hallucinogenetics to hire the Smashrip father and son duo which, combined with the injured players the orcs were missing, helped close the strength gap between the two teams.

Our teamís instincts for self preservation kicked in and they were able to avoid the worst of the orcís blows.

Kudos to rookie Tzaraath Leprae for scoring the winning goal of the game off a pass from 'Skinner' Slice-Slice.

Linerat Ebotar Enzimeís contract has been placed on waivers and he has been transferred back to Hell Pit. We wish him well in his new career as a test subject.
- Astrosimian
Sep. 19th, 2017
Hallucinogenetics - Black Smoke Popes (MBBL Season 16, Round 4)

We faced the Khemri in a very bloody match which, for the first half, went quite well for the team.

Unfortunately, the Khemri bashing power was too much for us to withstand and mounting casualties meant defeat.

A 40oz of Warpstone Ale will be poured for Carcinoma Angels and a glass of tepid water for Otto Klabe.

In related news, tryouts are open for a new Blitzer.
- Astrosimian
Sep. 16th, 2017
Lacklustre Performance
Prancing Ponies - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 16, Round 3)

Elfy bullshit aplenty tonight as the Hallucinogenetics lost 4-1.

Nuffle - King of Bastards that he is - decided to once again turn his gaze away from the team and onto our pointy-eared, easy-mode opponents.

No bitterness.
- Astrosimian
Aug. 27th, 2017
Defensive Win
Hallucinogenetics - Banded Lizards (MBBL Season 16, Round 2)

Round two saw the Hallucinogenetics pull off a solid defensive win.

Holding up and stalling the lizardman cage whilst goblins dodged in to harrass the ball carrier.

(A bit of shenanigans and faith in Nuffle didn't hurt either)

With the match winnings, we are well on our way replacing killed and damaged players, as well as medicating our existing group.
- Astrosimian
July 23rd, 2017
Now Hiring
The Hallucinogenetics are recruiting to fill a vacancy in our medical staff after our previous apothecary passed away (coroner has determined that the cause of death was suicide; he apparently stabbed himself in the back 127 times with one of his scalpels)

Successful candidate must be able to tell a dead troll from a living one.
- Astrosimian
July 18th, 2017
HARPER is the new KANO
Hallucinogenetics - Raiders of Zharr (MBBL Season 16, Round 1)

The team faced off against the chaos dwarves coached by Kyle Harper who was eager for a bit of revenge after - a surprise win - we defeated his orc team last season. (with Nuffle's help)

Nuffle definitely switched his allegiance this game, favouring the bearded ones. TDs were traded back and forth (including a long bomb TD pass from thrower Cryptos Phrontistes but ours were bought with bodies and lives.

In the end, with only 5 players on the pitch, we were unable to prevent the Raiders of Zharr from scoring the winning goal. (the Hallucinogenetics even went so far as to drag the bodies of their KO'd teammates onto the pitch)

A moments' silence is appreciated for Gartlepilsnot and H.R. Geigercounter who lost their lives in the match (as well as our team apothecary for letting Geigercounter die!). Their remains will be sent to the Body Banks ready for the Master Moulders to use any parts.
- Astrosimian
June 14th, 2017
Ellyrion Eagles - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 15, Round 7)

Match three of a three game marathon vs the Ellyrion Eagles saw the Hallucinogenetics pull off an unexpected win!

The game started off with the elves easily penetrating the defenses and scoring early but slowly degenerated into a brutal, casualty Laden slug fest where the our deeper bench proved to be the decisive factor.

Rat of the match goes to Cryptos Phrontistes. The ugly rodent is back to playing to the same level he showed in Round Two.
- Astrosimian
May 31st, 2017
Elfy Bullshit
Hallucinogenetics - Ellyrion Eagles (MBBL Season 15, Round 6)

Unfortunately, the Hallucinogenetics lost once again to the Ellyrion Eagles. Coming close to a draw, the team struggled to prevent the slippery elves from scoring in the last seconds of the match.

Bright note of the match was Carcinoma Angels sending a pointy ear to the graveyard!
- Astrosimian
Apr. 28th, 2017
Big Win
Hallucinogenetics - Rising Zelophehads (MBBL Season 15, Round 5)

Another big win for the Hallucinogenetics tonight! Another homeless person shall be sacrificed at the altar of Nuffle for blessing us with his favour.
- Astrosimian
Apr. 8th, 2017
Praise Nuffle
Hallucinogenetics - Da Red Fists (MBBL Season 15, Round 4)

The team had the benign gaze of Nuffle upon them and got an unexpected win last night.

Casualties were light, aside from linerat Onkogene who was placed in long term care in the team's body bank... we mean hospital. Doctors are uncertain if he will be fit to return to the squad.
- Astrosimian
Mar. 17th, 2017
Skink-skin Boots
Grimbank Gators - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 15, Round 3)

Despite some Prima Donna behaviour by star players, the team fought well to tie the Grimbank Gators.

Both blitzers racked up kills and props to Leeshun for scoring the equaliser. Too bad he died on the next drive; celebratory beers were purchased with his performance bonus.

It's what he would have wanted.
- Astrosimian
Feb. 26th, 2017
Second Match
Hallucinogenetics - Ostland Bulls (MBBL Season 15, Round 2) saw the team earn their first MBBL win earned with plenty of violence and misery (for our opponent).
- Astrosimian
Feb. 13th, 2017
First match
The squad had its first professional game today (Ellyrion Eagles - Hallucinogenetics (MBBL Season 15, Round 1)) and it was a sight to behold! It was almost a draw but late game shenanigans by the elves turned it into an unfortunate loss. Bright side was that no serious injuries were sustained as the services of a professional medical corp is out of the team's budget.
- Astrosimian
Race:  Underworld Denizens
Coach:  Astrosimian

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