Old Bulletins

Old bulletin board
May 22nd, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
The penultimate match of season 11 sees your Eagles up against our old rivals, the Watpfire Flamers.

The last two times we met, the skaven have come away with the win so we will fight hard to break that streak (hopefully along with some ratman skulls).

Promotional sponsorship for this match is courtesy of Vinnie the Vermin Man™ professional rat catchers. "I catch-em all the pests i can!"
- Astrosimian
 
 
May 2nd, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
A hard fought game - Edmundsheim Eagles - Hexoatl Missionaries (MBBL Season 11, Round 5) - saw the green and gold earn a draw. Not the outcome the team was looking for, but the boys were thankful not to incur another loss.

The pre-game plan of isolating the Saurii and blitzing skinks was carried out quite effectively: 7 total team fouls (Oskar Kruger getting in 4 on his own), 6 casualties inflicted, 2of which were kills!

Match sponsor Krocs™ - makers of fine shoes for stylish peasants - appreciates the donated material for their new line.
- Astrosimian
 
 
May 1st, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
Team officials would like to apologise due to a minor temporal magic mishap in the PR office that resulted in the communication of the Edmundsheim Eagles - Twakville Vigilantes (MBBL Season 11, Round 4) game three weeks late.

To compensate, we would like to present the results of the 2531 opening round...*

*match proudly brought to you by Thyme Enough™ herbal shampoo founded 4 years from now.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Mar. 31st, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
Managemnt would like to quell rumors that they had anything to do with Ale's Revenges' sudden and unexpected coaching change. It was merely a coincidence that a sudden coaching position opened up in Albion* which coach George felt compelled to undertake.

The Eagles grudgingly accepted a forfeit whilst new coaching staff was found for the dwarven side by league officials.

All of us in the team wish coach George well in his new home.

*it should be noted that the league commissioner in Albion is merely related to Radulf Klein by marriage and not birth thereby absolving us of any collusion in the matter.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Feb. 22nd, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
Next up against the Eagles is Da Tuskas, an orc team which brings plenty of muscle onto the field. It will be a tough ask - especially with our ogre, Abelard Blydsinnig injured - but your boys in green and gold will fight hard to bring the win!

Match sponsorship is proudly given by Hex-traktors™, your one stop for all your alchemy, dentistry and blood-letting needs!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Feb. 6th, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
First game of the new season has the Eagles visiting The Outbacks. With the hot weather, there is a definite home field advantage for the marsupials. Fortunately, catcher Jorg Gowansohn has a handy training plan that he learned whilst living in The Moot: hit the Bloodweiser tent for a few pre-game cold ones!

Naturally, promotional consideration for this match is courtesy of Bloodweiswer, beer of kings.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Jan. 20th, 2015
Edmundsheim Editorial
It is abundantly clear that climbing the ladder in First Division will be no easy task, with opposing teams that obviously disregard the sacred Blood Bowl rules by their use of banned performance-enhancing substances, foul magicks, and worship of dark, unholy gods.

Rest assured that your Eagles will do what it takes to fight such dastardly rivals. We will fight these low, brutal tactics with heart, teamwork and good, old-fashioned steel (shod boots)!

The players have fought hard whilst the owner and staff have worked behind the scenes to get us here.

We will make our presence felt.
We WILL be remembered.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Dec. 10th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
With Sigmass fast approaching, the players have been training hard, working to bring their loyal fans what they REALLY want this season - a win against Ale's Revenge!

As a special holiday treat, Commclarke stadium will be bedecked in festive decorations such as dwarves' beards, boot-stomped armour and dwarven helmets. (many with the heads still inside)

And be sure to let the young ones explore Commclarke's new Kids Zone complete with exciting games like dunk-a-dwarf, wack-a-dwarf and stab-the-tail-on-the-dwarf!* Fun for kids of all ages!

Promotional consideration for this match is brought to you by Trunkenbold-Säufer™ schnapps. Bugman's XXXXXX is fine for washing clothes, but men drink Trunkenbold-Säufer™.

*Management would like it to be known that the tails used in stab-the-tail-on-the-dwarf are all artificial. Animal abuse is a serious crime.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Nov. 7th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Revenge!

Fans will be pleased to know that tonight ogre, Abelard Blydsinnig, killed Shrooma Da Bomba and avenged the fallen blitzer Friedrich Marke!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Oct. 27th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
The last game of our four game road trip sees the Eagle in a tussle against Atomika Droppa. Fans will remember that game when blitzer Friedrich Marke was taken from us in a 2-2 tie. Your boys in green and gold have vowed to do whatever it takes to avenge Marke and bring home the win!

Seats are still available and, for those who cannot make it to the venue, as always, the match will be broadcast live on The Spellcaster's Network™, official broadcast partner of the Edmundsheim Eagles.

Corporate sponsorship of the match is provided by Kill'd™ -healthy roadkill burgers.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Oct. 22nd, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Congratulations to the Eagles in today's win over the Ghastly Ones. The boys played hard and showed the skaven what human tenacity and work ethic is!

We would like to offer special mention to Heinrich Wilhelms who scored three touchdowns. Amazing effort!

Team management group would like to also thank the Edmundsheim fans who made it to the match to lend their vocal support; you truly were the twelfth man on the pitch today.

Sponsorship of this match brought to you by Rat O' Nine Tailz brand cat treats™.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Sep. 15th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
The Eagles start a 4-game road trip in a rematch against the Warpfire Flamers. Players are looking forward to a tough fight, a chance at redemption and vengeance!

Last time these two teams faced each other the Eagles lost 2-3 and linesman Daniel Zackenbarsch - to whose memory this match is dedicated - perished due to underhanded skaven tricks.

Supporters are encouraged to join the Eagles' fan squad and journey to the Flamers' home ground to witness the "Shinboner Scrap!"

This match is sponsored by Djinn's Pest Control™.
"Djinn's makes your rodent problems disappear!"
- Astrosimian
 
 
Aug. 25th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Once again we face the orcs of Numas Hotspores; the pitch has been prepared, spikes sharpened, donations to the referees' guild made and our head coach doped up on muscle relaxants.

Just a typical day in Edmundsheim.

Sponsorship of this match is proudly provided by Green Tomb™, makers of fine burial cairns.
- Astrosimian
 
 
July 13th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
During the off season, team management had asked all faithful supporters to join them in a letter writing campaign urging the league to promote the Eagles to second division.

This turned out to be a dismal failure as out of a population of 7,642 only 15 could be found who could write (and Collin doesn't count as the Empire doesn't recognise the legal status of dachshunds).

Nevertheless, through a generous donation* to the MBBL leadership by your Oberbürgermeister, Radulf Klein, we prevailed and are pleased to announce that, in spite of the team's record, they have been promoted to second division, ready to turn their fortunes around!

Get ready to come down and see your boys in action in the season opener against The Outbacks!

*In order to pay for the promotion Oberbürgermeister Klein reluctantly has to raise taxes by 1 copper/week (to compensate, season ticket prices will be lowered by 1 copper/year). Collin the dachshund is exempt as the Empire doesn't recognise his legal status.
- Astrosimian
 
 
June 3rd, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Last game of the season is a cross-divisional match against The Outbacks. Even though this game may not matter standings-wise, your Eagles are more than ready to show the Norse the what, in their words, "No worries, Mate," REALLY mean.

This match is proudly sponsored by Mole & Sons lager.
"Mole & Sons get you pissed."
- Astrosimian
 
 
May 16th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Oberbürgermeister Klein would like to quell any rumours that there was a daemonic presence on the pitch tonight - daemons do NOT exist - but that the Norse had, in fact, used illegal magick during tonight's game.

"It's obvious that they were using magick. I mean, look at the second half: two Norse players were pushed into the crowd full of ravenous Eagles' fans eager for blood, only to safely, and mysteriously, appear in their dugout! And hits by our boys that would have put a chaos warrior in hospital, passed right through them! Come on!"

Eagles ownership and management insist an official investigation of Idea of Nord by the league.

The team appreciates all the Eagles' supporters that made to tonight's away game.
- Astrosimian
 
 
May 8th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Oberbürgermeister, Radulf Klein, reminds citizens of Edmundsheim to help control the rat population. Dispose of garbage properly, keep the streets clean, and most importantly, come out to see your Eagles take on the skaven of the Warpfire Flamers.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Apr. 15th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
A hard-fought match against the Numas Hotspores saw the Eagles victorious!

Fans can be assured that your injured boys in green and gold are fully on the road to recovery with no long-term injuries sustained.

Management and coaching staff would to offer the following congratulations:
All the loyal fans who showed up to cheer and support the boys.
The players for their commitment & hard work especially;
Tomas Wilkinsohn for scoring the game winning touchdown.
Abelard Blydsinnig who took on the Hotspores' star troll, Beer Money Inc., all match and kept that monster from his teammates.
Oskar Kruger for an impressive four fouls, one of which saw orc blitzer Kurtis Mangle out for the next match!
And finally local junior referee, Magott McSquint, for stepping in and taking on officiating duties at the last moment after the league-appointed referee mysteriously died in a freak accident involving a bathtub and seventeen electric eels...

Tickets to our next match against the skaven of the Warpfire Flamers are on sale now!*

*match proudly sponsored by Mouse-B-Gon™ rat catchers!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Mar. 10th, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
Once again Commclarke stadium plays host to dwarves, this time the team of Ale's Revenge. In an effort to get the Eagles' players fired up local wig shop, 'Hair Today', is offering a bounty of 10gc for each dwarven beard brought in! 15 gc if it still has the head attached!

Management would also like to introduce our new cheer squad, The Eaglettes!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Mar. 3rd, 2014
Edmundsheim Editorial
The boys are back in town!

Our first match* after returned from the team's pilgrimage to the Great White North sees us facing the orcs of Atomika Droppa! All fans are encouraged to witness your Eagles' triumphant return to the pitch!

Sponsorship of this match is provided by Groundup™ spore killer.

*We regret that due to scheduling problems the Eagles were unable to face the underworld team, The Inferno, resulting in them getting a pity win.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Nov. 23rd, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
Management and coaching staff would like to thank the players for a stellar effort in the season. We would also like to thank all the fans that made it games.

We would ask league officials to investigate the Imperious Snotballs home stadium after 33% of our take went missing after the match.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Oct. 23rd, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
The penultimate game for the Eagles sees us away, facing the Twakville Vigilantes, a chaos side that has shaped up to be an exceptionally skilled hitting team, averaging almost 4 casualties a match.

This match will definitely decide the Eagles' divisional fate: Stagnantion or promotion.

Coach Simian says at a press conference, "It will be a tough game for the boys, the Vigilantes are a real powerhouse. Our game plan remains the same: get in their face, play hard and dirty."

Fans are encouraged to watch the match live on The Spellcaster's Network, official broadcast partner of the Edmundsheim Eagles.
- Astrosimian
 
 
Oct. 11th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
We would like to remind fans to make it to the last home game of the season, let's show the Rangers Edmundsheim pride!

We would also like to inform the Rangers' players that Edmundsheim brothels are hiring...
- Astrosimian
 
 
Sep. 18th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
The Eagles organisation would like to show that they hold no bias against the living impaired and heartily welcome to the Grand Old Flag and wish them best of luck in our upcoming match!

In related news, management would like to announce that every Eagles' supporter will receive souvenir silver crosses and flaming brands!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Sep. 4th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
First away game of the season for the Eagles against the S.P.U.R.S.! We sincerely hope as many loyal fans as possible can make it to the game to watch your team try to hold back the furry skaven tide and hopefully make it to second place on the ladder!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Aug. 9th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
Management would like to let our fans know that the herald responsible for the previous bulletin's prediction of "fans are guaranteed a blood bath," has been sacked.

In other news, we would like to congratulate Abelard Blydsinning on actually paying attention to pre game training footage and taking advantage of Pete Nooses' previous injury! Further kudos go to Oskar Kruger for an impressive four fouls!
- Astrosimian
 
 
Aug. 9th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
The team is warmed up and rarin' to go against ROTR!

Plays have been selected, spikes sharpened and the ground prepared at Commclarke stadium!

Fans are sure to be guaranteed a blood bath!
- Astrosimian
 
 
July 19th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
Coach Simian would like all to know that he is fully on the road to recovery after his unfortunate mishap during training when Abelard Blydsinning mistook him for a tackling dummy.

"What can I say? It was a good hit! People said they could hear my spine crack all the way up in the cheap seats! God, I'm proud of that ogre!"
- Astrosimian
 
 
July 19th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial
Eagles' management and coach wish to respond to reports by some of the press that the team is lacking speed.

Defending his team coach Simian had this to say: "Did this guy even see our pre-season match? Two goals scored before half time!"

"Our offensive core already has plenty of speed. We're going to focus on building the team as a whole, not rely on a few key players; our boys play as a team."

"When the time is right, we fully intend to add a bit more speed on the front line but not before we are ready. Right now the Eagles are one of the faster teams in the division!"
- Astrosimian
 
 
July 9th, 2013
Edmundsheim Editorial!
To celebrate the start of the new season the Eagles would like all our supporters to join us in singing the club fight song:

We're cheering fight, fight, fight on the Eagles
We're marching right, right, right on the Eagles!
We're charging down the field for all to see,
And shouting kick him! boot him! on to victory!
We're fouling on til every game is won!
The green and gold is bold,
And when we're done,
We'll tell the world we're proud of Edmundsheim,
And the Edmundsheim Eagles!
- Astrosimian
 
 
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Edmundsheim Eagles
Race:  Human
Coach:  Astrosimian


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